self care Dec 30, 2020

Self care is something that is talked about a lot in wellness and most people will say they take care of themselves, when in reality they struggle with self care.  Women tend to think they do a good job taking care of themselves but often, put themselves last.  Everyone has circumstances that may cause less time spent on oneself but it's what is done MOST of the time that matters.  Before a conscious effort can be made to improve the level of care you give yourself, you need to realize the areas where you are deficient. Self-care may be eluding you if you find yourself doing any of the following things.  

Being selfless to a fault

If you find yourself putting the needs of every single person ahead of your own, you are exhibiting a classic sign of self-neglect. By prioritizing the needs of everybody except your own, you find yourself being burnt out or resenting doing things altogether.

Let’s be realistic, you have to put yourself first sometimes. You can't give and help others if your tank is empty.  To feel your best and be your best self you need to give yourself some love.  Not having the energy physically or mentally to give to others or resenting the people you are helping is an unhealthy combo.  

Your appearance gets little to no attention

If you feel guilty spending time on your appearance, it's ok but you need a mindset shift.  Putting yourself together each morning, whether that's a full face of makeup or sunscreen and go, is part of feeling ready to face the world and whatever it throws at you.  Spending time on your body is part of good self care.   You have the right to spend time on yourself, if that means indulging in a bubble bath for an hour, or moisturizing and doing weekly pedicures, it is a necessary part of your overall care.  

Having some pieces in your wardrobe that make you feel good to put on, a special pair of shoes or a sentimental piece of jewelry is all part of your appearance and taking care of yourself.  What makes you feel good about yourself?   Maybe it's your favorite sweater that's soft and cozy and makes you feel comfortable when you wear it.  Maybe it's that color of lipstick that works so well you don't need any other makeup.  Know yourself and spend time on the things you need to feel your best.  P.S. Ask for help from your household to create time for your self care.

You feel unfulfilled

You may be grown, have a home and money in the bank, but still have the sinking feeling that you have achieved nothing or not enough in life. This could be the result of personal un-fulfillment.  Perhaps you never got the chance to complete your college education, to pursue a passion or maybe you simply do not find your career to be rewarding.  This could also be the nasty "comparison" syndrome we naturally get sucked into.  Comparing our life to someone we admire or think has it all.  If there is a goal or degree you regret not attaining, there is no better time than now to get up and go after whatever it is that would fulfill you. Keep in mind no other person can achieve this for you, so go get it.  

You may begin to feel life is a chore.  When living life brings you no real pleasure, you may have lost the joy.  It can be easy to go through the motions of life, without truly finding joy in the day-to-day moments.  Feeling as if life has no real purpose is a sign to watch out for depression.  Depression is extremely common and has varying levels so find a purpose for living before depression sets in.      

Friendships fall by the wayside

Nurturing friendships takes time and energy but is a necessary part of your self care.  Good friends are there not only through the good times, but also the bad and can be an invaluable part of your well-being.  You don't need lots of friends but one or two good friends you keep in touch with is an important part of your individuality and taking care of yourself.   If friendships of your own are excluded from your life by you or a family member, it is not healthy and will ultimately affect your wellbeing.  Pick up the phone and have a chat with a friend even when you don't think you have time.  Taking care of yourself physically as well as emotionally is your self care responsibility.

Exercise is nonexistent 

This is one of the more important symptoms of poor self-care as it directly affects your well-being on an emotional and physical level. Lack of exercise boosts the likelihood of negative health developing, reduces quality of sleep, and harms your emotional well-being.

Our bodies are made to move but with societal conveniences, we just don't need to.  Which makes moving our body a choice instead of a necessity.  Therein lies the problem.  Most people don't choose to become sweaty and uncomfortable but the health benefits of exercise are inarguably HUGE.  If exercise were a pill we would have less obesity, diabetes, depression, heart disease, high cholesterol, and an overall happier society.  Since exercise is a choice there needs to be a motivator of some kind to get started. 

Find your motivation, your why.  Exercise will make you feel better physically and emotionally.  Whether looking a certain way is your motivation or feeling happier, exercise is the ticket.  Exercise performed just 3 times weekly can help you maintain a healthy bodyweight, body composition, and is one of the best things you can give yourself.

Although self-care should be second nature, many of us have lost these instinctual behaviors and replaced them with “politically correct” habits and a robotic pursuit of daily living.  You need to be selfish sometimes and think about yourself, so you can meet your needs and desires.  It can only serve to make you happier and more content.  

Until next time

Be fit, Be strong, take care of yourself to Be The Fit MT


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